Final Journal Reflection

      In 2 months, I wrote 40 entries in the journal. I don’t think of it as my diary, more of a thought container. For ten minutes a day, 5 days a week I wrote down any thoughts that came to my mind. I was given 6 rules to follow:

- Keep your hand moving

- Don’t cross out

- Don’t worry about spelling or grammar

- Lose control

- Don’t think (don’t get logical)

- Go for the jugular

Right off the bat, I noticed I was writing down something like a conversation. I think this seemed like talking with my inner self. Going over the journal again, it is clear I followed this pattern until the second-to-last entry. The first few entries were the hardest, each covering over a page and a half of ink. I gave myself an extra minute (starting at 11 minutes every entry) to compensate for the pauses I had while writing. I believe that was a good idea, even though I regretted it each time when my hand started twitching at around five minutes.  After several weeks, the thought: “Oh, I wrote about that…” was beginning to feel commonplace. The guidelines I was supposed to follow helped give meaning to each entry. Some of these rules, especially the last two, kept getting harder to follow as I continued to pour my thoughts into the pages week after week. All in all, I enjoyed this experience mainly because I think it helped steer my internal journey in a positive way. For example, I believe it allowed me to clear up some doubts I had been carrying for years and granted me the possibility of understanding my personality on a deeper level.

Billy Mills and his Coach - Reflection

The relationship between Billy Mills and his coach Bill Easton carries a sense of friction and distrust all throughout the movie. At first, the coach feels as if Mills is not worthy of representing Kansas University, insulting his heritage by saying that “all Indian boys are quitters’. It also seems that Easton only accepts Billy into his running team on the condition that Mills run exactly as the coach says. It is apparent that the style and grace which distinguished Billy as a runner at the start of the movie is replaced with calculative sprinting patterns and a marked, serious face. Later, this change is highlighted by Billy himself, as he narrates one of his letters to his sister saying: “I seem to have lost my love for running, now I am just a machine…”

          Although Coach Easton’s techniques physically helped Billy in his performance, one can infer that the emotional toll that also comes with that type of training has a great impact on Billy’s internal (and external) journey. It can be said that the selfish and demanding tone with which Easton communicates with Billy does not help to carry the coach’s message. From the beginning of the movie, the coach’s attitude only serves to push Billy away, somewhat foreshadowing the runner’s decision abruptly to quit the team and return home after his graduation. It is also clear that the coach’s abuse had an impact on Mills’ personal life; since Billy does not stop to contemplate that he is also leaving his wife behind.

            While the coach’s actions did have a continuous negative effect on Billy, they only left a temporary mark on Billy’s consciousness when compared to something as big as Frank’s suicide. Also, the pessimistic point view of Easton helped strengthen Billy’s resolve by motivating him to prove his coach wrong.  In the final race in the Olympics, the coach is presented throughout the entire race rooting for his former runner. This scene is enforced by the reunion and of these characters and their unexpected and respectful reconciliation. In conclusion, it is evident that Coach Easton only wanted to bring out the best in Billy, although his methods did not always express his positive intention.

Reflection: Billy Mills

                Billy Mills expresses his internal journey by narrating his thoughts as he writes to his sister in the movie. After arriving at the University and beginning his professional career as a runner, he stays in constant contact with his sister by writing letters to the Indian Reservation where he grew up in. Because he is half Indian, Billy faces discrimination on a daily basis throughout his time at the university. His letters to his sister become an outlet for all his built-up frustration and serve as an internal journey that ends up helping him both emotionally and physically.

                The external journey of Mills (the athlete) is experienced through his travels. Apart from leaving the Reserve to go to university, Mills also joins the military as a Marine. This decision allowed him to gather his thoughts after the loss of his friend, and helped him focus in order to eventually accomplish his dream of winning the 10,000 meter dash at the Olympics in Japan. His determination as a runner the experience from his travels turned him into an icon and allowed him to achieve what others told him was impossible.

                When judged by racists throughout the movie, Mills defends his heritage as an Indian. After leaving the reservation, He mentions that running was his way of dealing with these types of hardships. It was only after his emotional pain started affecting his ability to win races that he actually decided to return to his homeland, leaving his wife behind in Kansas. Once home, his sister and friends helped him regain his love for running and were the main reason he decided to chase after his dreams. Without his sister there to comfort him after his best friend’s suicide, Mills would not have continued his (external) journey to Japan to run in the Olympics.

                Although his coach was part of the group of people that criticized him at first for his appearance, Mills thanks him at the end of the movie. He does this because the coach was the one person who pushed him the most to strive for his dreams. Even if they did not see eye to eye at some point, the coach saw greatness in Billy and took a chance on him. This decision allowed Billy to show how great a runner he really was and led to the reconciliation of these two men at the end of the Olympic race.